Watch for The Attraction Code Video
Or maybe you saw a group of girls with one or two guys with
them and you ASSUMED the guys were cooler than you so you
avoided approaching because you feared embarrassment.
There are two reasons why guys have a fear in talking with
women who were with other guys.
They assume that the girl is “with” the guy, and assume he’s
her boyfriend.
Guys shouldn’t think this as a barrier of talking to a
woman. Plus - she’s not a guy’s “slave” or a piece of
property, so she is free to talk to whomever she chooses,
especially in a social situation like in the bar where
people meet other people.
Approaching oftenly a woman who is “with” a guy can make you
look more confident, and draw out the jealous side of the
guy, making him look insecure and weak.
The second reason why guys don’t approach woman who is
“with” a guy points to a deep insecurity based on a simple
misconception.
Men tend to be threatened by other men, instantly assuming
that the “other guy” is stronger, cooler, or somehow more
powerful.
This is founded in an ancient survival strategy that has
been hardwired into the human brain.
The social hierarchy is very subtle, and mostly unconscious,
and it’s hard to tell who the more “dominant” person is in
any given interaction. So when a male is confronted by
another male, he doesn’t know how dominant the other guy is.
A guy doesn’t know if he will be embarrassed verbally, or as
was probably common thousands of years ago, beaten up.
To assumed that the guy is a threat is the safest way to
play. Because guys that are too bold may have won a few
confrontations, but it will take them a single mistake that
can end up their game.
And then their genes were taken out of the “race” so to
speak.
Those guys that avoided confrontation and played safe are
the one that can successfully reproduce and survive.
The irony is that nowadays this hard-wired survival strategy
is the basis for most approach anxiety - men makes a false
assumptions that will lead them to avoid approaching women
unnecessarily.
The thing is, when you are in the bar or club and you see a
woman talking to another guy, you would think she’s not WITH
him.
Usually, they JUST MET!
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve approached a woman
thinking she was “with” a guy, only to find out he was some
random dude who just approached her. Or he was just a friend
or relative.
I have regrets to those times that I’ve missed so many
opportunities talking to a woman just because I saw her with
another guy. And this brings me to my first point:
I SHOULDN’T ASSUME THEY ARE TOGETHER UNTIL I SEE A PHYSICAL
EVIDENCE. I DON’T KNOW WHAT HE MEANS TO THE GIRL.
You will know it if you try to act and find out. Just
remember that in time that they are together you should be
alert an respectful, the guy may be the insecure jealous
type and may start a confrontation.
So be smart and wise - don’t just stick around on having a
false judgment.
The idea that the other man can be more “dominant” that you
are is the next important thing that I want to talk about.
The concept of the alpha male is completely outdated. In the
caveman days, the alpha male had real power - he had access
to resources like food, and was physically stronger, so he
could beat up competitors.
But ask yourself if those power still exist today. Every man
can survive on his own if he has the source of income - you
probably have an access to food and shelter if you’re
reading this. You’re all set.
Plus, in this modern world it is irrelevant to use the
physical strength just to beat people up. It’s illegal.
You’ll always end up losing if you attack another person
because the police always win.
If you think about it, you are LETTING RANDOM GUYS STOP YOU
FOR NO REASON!
Pardon my French, but who is HE to say who YOU talk to???
It makes me mad- I recall all the women I missed out on
because I was worried about some DUDE. And I get mad knowing
that other guys are dealing with same crap!
When you’re on your deathbed, you are going to look back on
all the things you did and didn’t do. How painful would it
be to say “I didn’t meet that girl because I was scared of
another guy,” or “there were so many beautiful women I
could’ve enjoyed, but I didn’t even try because I saw them
TALKING to another guy.”
I don’t want that to be you.
So let’s look at this on a deeper level. Seeing another guy
as more dominant means you don’t truly understand dominance.
You see, if you’re concerned with who is more dominant you
instantly make yourself NOT dominant. There’s a better
focus.
To be dominant, you must first THINK like a dominant man.
And dominant men don’t think about who is dominant. So what
do dominant men think about? Whatever it is they are doing
or want.
So when you see another guy talking to a group of girls.
Focus on the girls instead of worrying who is the dominant
between the two of you.
I rarely even acknowledge other guys, because too often it’s
proven to be a waste of time. 9 times out of 10 the girls
don’t even know the guy - they just met him.
Or if they do, he’s a friend of ONE of the girls, and the
rest barely know him.
It’s rare for girls to go out with a guy they are dating -
usually they will bring a guy who is more of a
protector/friend because a guy like that is more valuable
when they go out on the town.
Besides, if he IS with one of the girls, that means he’s NOT
with the other girls - they are fair game.
You are NOT the alpha male by definition, if you are
concerned with who’s the alpha male is. In fact, in this
modern world it’s questionable whether alpha males truly
exist .
Avoid some assumption, just get your focus in a USEFUL
place, and don’t allow some random dude to stop you from
enjoying YOUR LIFE!
And how does it feel that despite of all your hard work
you’re still not getting the success you’re looking for?
If you answered YES to either of those questions, then READ
ON.
Honestly, going for a date can be quite frustrating.
You are interested in a woman that has a boyfriend.
Everything is going smooth and fine between you and a woman
and then just suddenly she’s not returning or answering your
calls.
Aside from the fact that as the guy you are the one that do
everything in order to move things forward.
YOU have to have the courage to approach.
YOU have to keep the conversation going at first, YOU have
to escalate physically, YOU have to get HER number or rack
your brain to figure out a logistical way to take her home,
YOU have to plan the date.
Not to mention there are much higher standards for men’s
behavior than women.
(Let’s not started on that…let’s just say women are
allowed to get away with sub-par behavior just because they
are “beautiful.”)
That can be debilitating, especially if you don’t have an
“extroverted” trait.
…I just had a client who often complained of “extroversion
fatigue.”
I used to struggle with that too that’s why I knew exactly
what he meant.
Before I started to teach myself about pick-up, and then
found myself being mentally DRAINED after talking to three
or four women.
What I do is to have a sit and rest!
Come to think how strange the situation is, I am supposed to
have fun and relax but instead I am working harder than I
was at my full time job.
I would go home and be absolutely DEAD
… from having a CONVERSATION WITH WOMEN!
That things makes any sense???
There you see the general dating fatigue. There’s an ups and
downs in the emotions, results that is discouraging, in the
hard work that I make just to get women to hang out with me
or be in bed with me.
It was like a full time job and I was working overtime!
The first time I got into this game I had force myself to go
out and pickup ALL DAY for days on end. (I was a nerd, I
admit that, and had pushed it to the extreme.)
All I can say is that I have this passion in learning those
stuff (very eager for the outcome after years of sensual
frustration)
I would push myself like professional athletes push
themselves in the gym.
I was forming NEW NEUROPATHWAYS and working on my muscles
that I’ve never done before.
If you are working too hard in your interactions with women.
then you can relate to any of this.
There are three reasons for this.
The first reason is may be new to you - being socially
proactive.
As I can remember, I don’t have a pectoral muscles - (the
one that is right at the top of your chest just under the
clavicle that makes the chest look bigger) before I started
lifting weights.
Actually I do have a small muscle but it was so weak that I
can’t even feel them. So every time worked them out I was
incredibly sore and could barely move my arms. And it took
me three good weeks to really feel them.
And then I reached the point where the muscle was developed
that I could handle heavy weight without all the fatigue and
soreness. Same as in your mind.
It takes time to develop these new neuro-pathways on your
own. If you’re not pushing yourself HARD day in-day out, it
can take awhile, depending on your skill level.
Another reason you may feel social fatigue is because you
think there’s too much to do or learn when meeting women.
This is actually a little different from “fatigue.” It’s
more like feeling overwhelmed.
Being overwhelmed by certain thing can cause exhaustion to
your mind that can lead to some sort of discouragement and
depression. It’s somewhat saying “ugh, I’ve had enough of
this too much. I’m giving up”
This will hold you back from DOING ANYTHING. I suffered from
this kind of feeling when I started putting a lot of my
theories on paper. I looked at my notes and felt like I was
looking at one of those huge, complex physics equations.
It was daunting to think that I had to DO all this stuff
just to have quality women in my life.
Lastly, you will feel socially exhausted for your dating and
mating game, when you spend a lot of effort and focus on
stuff in wrong situation and find out it was not helpful to
your pick-up.
Many men fails in attracting women and in fact almost 99% of
men gets it wrong. Usually the women can’t tell because most
men after a harsh rejections learn to keep their inner
“stuff” to their self.
But this doesn’t negate the fact that when the average guy
is attracted to a woman, he spends his mental energy on
trying to impress her, or figure out if she likes him.
Think about the messages we get from the media, our parents
and friends, and women - it’s the man’s role to IMPRESS the
woman and EARN “getting in bed” from her.
Ridiculous!
I get so mad when I see some commercial with a guy bumbling
around trying to impress some cute girl, and looking like a
fool while she giggles like she’s better than him because
she’s a girl.
Ok enough ranting… the point is that most guys are
screwed when it comes to being in control of their dating
lives.
The matter of attraction for a guy will be change if he will
only takes the time to adjust the way his mind works.
You need to get the most out of your body and mind so that
it can lead you to the highest level of your interaction
with women and that’s what’s really attractive.
A MAN AT HIS BEST.
Before I don’t really know how to do the one night stands,
and I started to understand how easy it is to apply after I
have used a couple of solid pickups.
Looking back, I realize now that those initial successes
were the start of a major “bad belief overhaul.”
I started to think that women wants to be hookup and that
they really wanted me
I am having some confidence that I was that desirable and
attractive to women eventhough I know that I am far the one
considered as good-looking .
Now about 75% of my students come to me with one main goal -
they want to sleep with more women.
And the remaining are looking for someone special that
really suits in their lifestyle. As what I have said, this
goal is not mutually exclusive.
You see, in order to find that special girl and to have the
best choice, you should see and go out with a bunch of good
women.
And if you don’t know how to meet women, this can be a
daunting task.
One of the common phase that every good pickup artist goes
through when they gets started. Where he to learn to thinks
of new ways and behavior and then start to meet and sleep
with a BUNCH OF WOMEN.
Just like a kid in a candy store, making a full advantage of
his new powers!
This period of learning is necessary, or at least it was for
me in order to snap out of my old way of thinking, and
internalize my new reality - that I am attractive and woman
want to sleep with me.
So it’s important that you have a few really fast, casual
sensual encounters, in order to get the ball rolling on
forming new beliefs.
I’m telling about a same day lays or a one-night stand.
If haven’t had any experience on one-night stand, or maybe
you got lucky when you were drunk, having a one-night
’stands at-will’ can have the same as having a great
girlfriend that is out of reach.
Actually if you know what you are doing, it will be all
easy.
But the sad thing is, there are many men that make things
too hard for themselves and never be able to get the first
sexual experience that will make them feel like “natural.”
If you’re reading this, then you are interested in getting
not only BETTER with woman, but you want to MASTER THE GAME.
Mastery comes from within - it starts with a mindset, and
leads to external results, which then form NEW BELIEFS in
your mind.
Your new beliefs will become the foundation in building and
facing the new reality in your life, you will then naturally
attract many women without even thinking and doing fancy
lines and routines.
First of all, you can’t always get the hottest woman in the
venue to go home with you for a one-night stand.
Bringing a girl home doesn’t based on whether she is open or
not in going home with a guy, sure maybe you can her number
but it varies widely on particular night.
However, there are LOTS of horny women moving around the
clubs and bar anytime of the day that are open in getting
lay that same day or night. And all you have to do is have a
knowledge and ability to spot them.
Some of the few things that you should look for are on the
way how they dressed up and on the way how they put some
make-up. Many women exerts a lot of hard work just to look
beautiful. And you know there is a reason for it.
The reason is they want to be approached. Although it isn’t
always true but is generally the case.
I also look for women who are being loud and animated. They
are subconsciously looking for attention from men.
Lastly, another good prospect are woman that are looking
around the room more than the other girls that she’s with.
Also a group of two or three women all standing around with
blank expressions, scoping the room are another prospect.
They are basically putting themselves out there, waiting for
someone to approach them.
Just take these in mind, that when you approach you don’t go
into full-steam running your clever routines and cocky frame
control stuff. You have to take it easy.
A simple “hey, you guys look great tonight. Special
occasion?” is enough. It’s just have to be social, delicate
and showing that you are interested in meeting them.
You should not openly discuss to the woman that you are
looking to take her home and get her into bed. Because, if
you talk about that, you’re putting a woman to a point where
is to agree to implicitly bang with you.
Rather you want to build sensual tension, as we discuss
heavily in our workshops.
This will be against a woman’s “rules” and she’ll definitely
be keeping distance from you. And you really need a logistic
information to know how you can get her back to your place.
The real key to all this is subtracting any overt sensual
intention, and not trying to pick her up.
Just enjoy yourself while escalating appropriately and have
a willingness to control the situation.
This is how it will works although it may sound that counter
intuitive.
You have to trust that women wants to get in bed, and that a
lot of the women in the venue wants to lay NOW.
Some won’t, but some will, and that’s why it’s key that you
get a sense of what to look for, and how to proceed.
You don’t want to put a lot of effort and time with the
wrong girl or to pick the right girl and then mess it up
after a very long interaction.
That’s a HUGE waste of time.
